The idea of a fiery hell that people burn forever in wasn’t propagated widely until the Catholic Church began to take control of Europe. I don’t think God truly tries to get people to love him via fear. His plea was always to our morals and decency. The Medieval Catholic Church, whose parishioners were mostly illiterate and had no access to scripture, pumped this idea up to control their own people and the idea was brought to America by the Puritans where you came in contact with it.
If you look at scripture the word hell never appears. Jesus uses the word Gehenna, which was perhaps erroneously translated to hell. Gehenna was a place where ancient people burned their children which is where the idea of hell came from but to the Jews of the time it was symbolic of a place of ultimate shame and wickedness. I could see God leaving people in their shame and guilt forever without burning them. I never took much stock in the burn forever picture of hell. But many preachers still like it because it is so visceral and potent but I really think this idea was hijacked by human leaders rather than true doctrine.
I love these kinds of topics / debates and I would love to discuss it further at any time if you want.