The Forgotten Tale of The Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War

One of history’s longest conflicts and why it has been forgotten

(Public domain)

There are a number of conflicts named after the number of years that they lasted. You might have heard of the Thirty Years’ War, the Hundred Years’ War, or the Seven Years’ War. There was even a conflict called the Eighty Years’ War. But you likely have not heard of the Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War. This war is one of the longest in history, and it resulted in zero casualties. Not a single death or injury occurred in over three centuries. In fact, this war was completely bloodless. Not a single drop of human vitality was spilled during the Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War.

What was the Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War? Why did it last so long? How did no one die?

The Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War has its roots in the English Civil War (1642–1651), which pitted Parliamentarians under Oliver Cromwell against the Royalists who favored a return to monarchy. During the war, Cromwell pushed the Royalists to Cornwall (not to be confused with Cromwell.) From Cornwall, the Royalist navy fled to the Isles of Scilly. These islands are located off the coast of Britain and were long a haven for pirates, privateers, and bootleggers.